Classic maneuvers to avoid really dealing with hetero- and cis-sexism - part 2 of 2

Okay, I'm back with more of your favorite maneuvers for dodging conversations on heterosexism. If you missed part 1, you'll find it here.

Whipping Out The Best Friend

“Hey, I’m not a transphobe, OK? Some of my best friends are transsexuals. See?” Best Friend: “Yeah, he's practically one of us!”

The Infallible Resource

“Well I have a transsexual friend, and she says I'm allowed to say tranny, and you can't argue with that! No, I didn't know there are other takes on it. That doesn't make any sense, because trannies are automatically expert about tranny stuff. That's why if one of them says it's okay, I know I'm good. Case closed. Now that we've got that settled, want to come with me to protest the ex-gay conference? They trot out these gay people in front of the crowd, except they're all mixed up, and they tell everyone how homosexuality is evil and homophobia is Christian love.”

more across the jump...

Classic maneuvers to avoid really dealing with hetero- and cis-sexism - part 1 of 2

As a teacher, I've always wanted my students of social justice to understand how much one form of oppression resembles another. And I've always loved the blog post Sixteen maneuvers to avoid really dealing with racism by Holly at Feministe. Recently I read through it and thought about all the parallels for hetero/cissexism. And before I knew it, I'd translated the whole thing into queer terms. See if you recognize any of these classic defenses:

The Bootstrap Myth

“We're in a post-gay society. Don't Ask, Don't Tell is repealed, bisexuality is trendy among teenagers, and did you see where the president appointed a gay ambassador? We don't have to worry about anti-gay prejudice anymore. Anyone who works hard can make it in America. And if you struggle it's your own damn fault."

The Shining Example

"Look at me, I'm gay and I'm doing just fine. Look at Ellen, one of the most popular talk show hosts around. If we can do it, anybody can do it... because my/her experience is just like everybody else's."

more across the jump...

The real OY board

In my last post, I mentioned the OY board as I was imagining them. Well, today I remembered something about the real OY board, as opposed to the one I was imagining. The real board probably knows about an email I sent in 2009, the year I was fired. ("invited to resign")

Several months after I left OY, one of the board members ran into me at the Trans Day of Remembrance. Actually he'd already left the board, but I didn't know it. He's my age, friendly, upbeat. I didn't see him coming. He grabbed me from behind with both hands and rubbed my arms/shoulders as he exclaimed, "Matt!!! Good to see you, buddy!"

This was the only board member who'd said something so egregious behind my back that it ever got back to me...

My "no surprises" policy

At OY I invented an informal No Surprises policy. My idea was, communication should be open enough that there are no nasty surprises. So for example, if I was having a midterm meeting with a student intern and her university professor, I shouldn't have lots of criticism the intern had never heard before. I considered it my obligation to be up front with her when I had a problem, so we/she could address it, rather than holding onto some gripe and surprising her with it later on. If I hadn't been up front with her, I'd be in violation of the No Surprises policy.

Another example: If someone I manage messes up, I want to hear about it from them ASAP. If I find out a week later through the grapevine, because people are talking about the mess-up and related fallout, that's not cool.